


the messed up scheme

by trappedbyvellichor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, James is a Dork, M/M, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Um what else, ugh i dont like that spelling, uhhh, yea thats it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24470203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trappedbyvellichor/pseuds/trappedbyvellichor
Summary: The Marauders need a way to hide Sirius from Remus for a bit. Too bad the messed up scheme involves a date with a very reluctant Lily Evans.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i already posted this first chapter on tumblr, so for anyone who's read it, might as well move on to the next.

“Idiot! Wake the fuck up!”

With his free hand, Sirius shoved James almost off the bed.

James yet out a yelp, before grasping across the desk for his glasses and clumsily putting them on. The image of an extremely worried Sirius was suddenly very clear.

As was the large bandage wrapped around his arm.

James splutter and gasped loudly, pointing at the arm. Sirius rolled his eyes.

That’s when it dawned on James. 

“Moon- Moony- did he- do that?”

Sirius nodded gravely. He began to slowly unwrap the bandage, careful not to let it tear, as the loose pile slowly built up next to them.

James gasped loudly as he saw it, earning him a glare and a “Shut up!” from Sirius.

A large, monstrous gash ran down his forearm. Torn flesh swirled among the river of crimson blood. It looked so out of place along his pale skin, to the point that James felt almost a little sick looking at it.

“He’s going to think it’s his fault, Prongs. We can’t let that happen.”

James frowned solemnly. “There’s no way we can just tell him, can we?”

“D’you remember,” started Sirius irritably. “What happened when the wolf scratched Wormy? It was barely a scratch, and he still shut himself in the bloody room for a week! Imagine this!”

“Fuck, you’re right. How about that other charm we learnt that day- y’know-” James looked up in thought for a second, trying to recall the memory. “Oh- the banana-cups day!”

“Evanescis Vul- something?”

“It’s Vulneris,” said a voice from behind both of them. They both jumped, shaking the bed.

Peter smirked from behind them, before his eyes caught onto the laceration that travelled up Sirius’s forearm.

“What do we do?”

Peter looked up at both of their worried faces.

“I have a plan, but you’re not going to like it.”

* * *

“Sirius- Sirius Black. Our best friend! Padfoot! Lily?! What?!”

Remus stuttered, his jaw practically on the floor. He was in complete and utter shock.

“You heard it, mate. Broke my heart though, but I know she loves _me_ deep down,” said James.

“Since- since when?!”

“Yesterday. She bumped into him when he was coming back from the hospital wing, and some romantic shite probably happened then.”

“She- I- you’re okay with it?”

“Not really,” said James, pulling a frown. “But I’ll survive it.”

Peter’s plan had confused, outraged, amused and astounded both of them at once. After the range of emotions, James had cringed, while Sirius laughed his head off.

The goal was to get Sirius away from Remus, but in a way that Remus wouldn’t try to bring him near. 

And with the Valentines day, and the Hogsmeade visit coming the day Remus was released from the hospital wing, what better way? It might’ve been fate. Maybe they’d been blessed.

Although, Lily and Sirius had gotten nobody’s blessings, rather their shock and confusion when they came out as a couple last night. Quite similar to the shock and confusion being displayed by Remus right now.

“So they’re dating?!”

“Sadly,” drawled James. “Anyway, Slughorn assigned us something that I really can’t understand. Care to read it and explain? You can use my notes.”

Remus groaned, before taking James’s bag and pulling out his mess of parchment, beginning to explain the use and origins of rosemary and fairy wing essence.

But there was something nagging him at the back of his mind.

Sirius and Lily’s date.

He couldn’t explain it to himself. It definitely had nothing to do with his raging crush on Sirius for the longest time- he’d managed to block that out, though not easily. 

Maybe it had something to do with Sirius’s drunken confession last week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually kinda liked writing from Lily's point of view

Lily Evans was having a perfectly normal day.

She'd woken up normally, eaten breakfast normally, talked to her friends normally, and even flipped off Potter normally too. 

But the the normal part of the day came to a sudden end when she heard James, Sirius and Peters' desperate calls from downstairs. The tie that had been tied to the staircase's handrail was on the floor- a telltale sign of a boy trying to climb up.

Scoffing at the immaturity, she shouted back to them.

"James Fleamont Potter, I am not fucking marrying you! Not today, not tomorrow, not next week! I'd rather go out with the bloody gargoyle on the fifth floor!" Their indistinct screams were growing louder, so she just kept shouting, until she noticed the difference.

James Potter wasn't shouting her name out.

He was shouting Lupin's.

Lily shut her mouth and rushed to the staircase, where she saw a dishevelled James, a worried Peter, and a pale, almost sickly Sirius. She could see the worried lines in their faces, and the near tears in Sirius's.

She couldn't help the small tug on her heart, and the breath that stuck in her throat.

Quickly touching the handrail, she watched as the stairs rose back into place from the smooth slide, and rushed down them. A mental note formed in her mind without her consent- this was the first time she was face to face with Potter and Black without trying to hex or unleash a string of profanity at them.

"Lily, please," whispered James earnestly. "I know what we're about to say 's going to sound fucking stupid, but _please_ , just hear us out."

"Everything that comes out of your mouth sounds fucking stupid," retorted Lily with a small scoff. Sirius glared at her. She looked back with an equally cold look.

"Listen, I know you think James is nothing but a lovebird who wants to get up your skirt, but if you haven't fucking noticed, he's more than that. He's a caring friend who, right now, wants to help one of his best mates and fellow Marauders."

Lily was caught silent after the small, passionate speech from Sirius, who showed rare emotion in his eyes.

 _Love_ \- Lily recognised it.

Maybe it was worth giving them a chance.

* * *

It was absolutely not worth giving them a chance.

Firstly, Sirius had rolled up his sleeve, and unravelled a bandage, revealing a ghastly gash that had travelled up his forearm, still bloody, and screaming. Lily had almost screamed, especially since she'd recognized the amber lines that travelled through the gash.

He'd been attacked by a werewolf.

Lily only knew one werewolf around here.

And she knew that Remus Lupin would _never_ attack anyone on purpose, far less than Sirius Black. Her heart was caught, and she couldn't help worrying about Remus's current state, especially with her six months worth of research in fourth year.

So of course she was going to go along with any plan they'd come up with. She'd do anything for Remus.

At least, that's what Lily thought before.

"I am _not_ going to Hogsmeade with Sirius Black!"

The look on her face was pure horror, and her voice almost echoed through the halls.

"Way to let me down, ginger," said Sirius lazily, rolling his eyes.

"Lily, please! It's the only way to keep Padf- Sirius away from Remus! Please, just this once! I'll pay you ten galleons," James said earnestly.

"Listen, I love Remus as much as you guys do-" Sirius gave her a questioning look, "-Okay, less than you guys do, but I still love him. And I'd do anything for him. Just- not this!"

All three of the boys looked downcast. Lily couldn't help but feel just a little guilty.

Then Sirius perked up. "Hey, ginger! Remember that time in third year that I sneaked you some chocolate while you were lying in the common room throwing a tantrum?"

"I was not throwing a tantrum! Trust me, Sirius _Drama Queen_ Black, if you knew what cramps were like-"

"-Yes, yes, anyway, you said you owed me. So I'm taking you up on that."

His smirk was infuriating. 

"Fine," Lily said through gritted teeth. "I'll do it."

"Yes!" Cheered James, throwing an arm over her shoulder. "Thanks, Evans, you're the best!"

Lily couldn't help but smile at the genuine happiness in his voice. And maybe her heart gave the tiniest flutter as his hand touched her skin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically a memory, because i cant structure stories for shit

_**~One Week Ago~** _

"C'mon, Moony, just one more drink!"

The night outside was pitch black, and the warm lights of the common room were dimming down. A drunken, dizzy daze seemed to have settled down on them.

"Yeah! We nicked this treasure from The Hog's head. You can't deny that," slurred Sirius, falling down onto the sofa next to Remus. He laid his head on Remus's lap, which Remus hastily pushed away.

"Moony," whined Sirius. "Why can't I lie down on you? Your lap is so comfortable! I thought you loved me!"

 _Because I'm getting a fucking hard on._ "Because your hair's full of fleas."

Sirius trailed fingers through his hair, and shot an exaggeratedly offended look on his face. "I'll have you know that my hair is very well groomed, thank you very much. I spend half an hour in front of the mirror-"

"Half an hour?!" James jumped onto the sofa, pushing the space between Sirius and Remus. He pointed an accusatory finger at Sirius, who sat up, with an amused look on his face. "You spent two hours that day! I couldn't bloody shower!"

"That was because we still had the glitter from the last prank stuck in it!"

"I had glitter shoved up in much worse-"

"Okay, okay! Thank you, James, you can sit down now," said Remus, getting up, and watching James stagger as Sirius pushed him off. "Sirius, please try to keep James alive for the night. After all, he is fifty percent of your alcohol source."

"What's a percent?"

"I don't have the patience to explain."

"Good, 'cause I don't want to know!" Sang Sirius in a dramatic voice.

"HEY BOYS! WE EXIST!"

Remus hastily clasped his hands over his ears, as did the other three. Marlene's loud voice echoed through the room, possibly knocking the portraits down. They peered up at her, her wand in hand right next to her lips.

"Tell me you didn't use the charm we learnt today," groaned Remus weakly as his ears stung.

"Who cares? Not I, that's for sure!" Yelled Marlene, grabbing another drink from the pack on the floor.

Remus let his gaze fall upon Marlene. She'd always been sexy, Remus had no doubt, but there was something about her energy that seemed to draw people in. Messy, dirty blonde curls fell up to her shoulder, messily sprawling across her face. Large, blue eyes were smiling, and her thick lips sported a thin layer of purple lipstick- the same one Lily had introduced her to. She was wearing a large, AC/DC shirt that was half tucked into her cuffed jeans.

Marlene met Remus's eyes, and gave him a small, suggestive wink, before kissing Dorcas sloppily on the lips.

Dorcas, who'd just entered looked surprised, but melted into the kiss. When they broke apart, Remus rolled his eyes at the smirk on her lips.

"Whoa, what's with the lip works?"

"Remus thought he stood a chance against Dorcas here," said Marlene smugly, sinking into the seat and throwing an arm around Dorcas's shoulders.

All eyes were on him. Brilliant. He shot a dry look at Marlene, who winked again, holding Dorcas tighter.

"It's time we found you a bird, ain't it, Moony?"

"What? No, I'm very satisfied on my own," chuckled Remus nervously, alcohol slowing his words.

"Yeah, you need a little love in your life, don't you?"

"Are you telling me you don't love me?"

"Mate, I love you like a brother. But you need a little action in your life, don't you?"

"Shut up, at least I'm not pining away after a girl who fucking hates me."

"She doesn't hate me, she's actually warm-"

"Lily fucking hates you, Potter," drawled Marlene, taking a sip of the bottle in her hand. "I asked her if she'd ever date you. She turned my hair purple for a week."

"That's why!"

"It was pretty hot though," said Dorcas, sneaking a small peck on Marlene's lips. "I wouldn't mind it again."

"Yeah, well, what about Sirius, huh?" Asked James frantically, waving his arms over at Sirius. "The birds are practically swarming over him- okay, not you two. But the what about the others?"

Marlene and Sirius had a split second of amused eye contact, before Marlene burst into stifled giggles. James looked between them. "But-" he pointed a finger at Marlene. "Aren't you gay?"

"Oh god no, I'd rather jump off the astronomy tower than date Sirius. No- it's just- he seems... taken," she said with a grin and a wink.

James looked taken aback.

"So who's this special girl, then, Pads?"

He looked back at Marlene, who was grinning widely now, mischief sparkling in her eyes. Dorcas looked confusedly between them, whispering something in Marlene's ear. Marlene chuckled, and whispered back. Dorcas let out a large laugh and looked at Sirius.

"Fuck it," grumbled James, grabbing a drink.

"Okay!" Yelled Sirius, standing up on the sofa. "Who wants to play a drinking game?"

"I'm in," said Frank, who was sprawled across another seat.

"We are!"

"I'm in," said Sirius.

"Sure?" Shrugged Remus.

"Most likely to?" Suggested Marlene.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Fine," said Sirius. "I'll start. Most likely to become absolutely wild once a month," he said smoothly, looking Remus straight in the eye.

Remus blushed, biting hard on his lip.

"Marlene!"

"Marlene-"

"Marlene."

"Dorcas?"

"Marlene!"

Marlene looked around wildly, shooting shocked and feigned hurt glances at everyone who'd shouted her name. "Fine," she said with an attitude, taking a large swig of her drink, shaking her head after.

"Most likely to be gay?" 

Marlene threw her bottle at Sirius. None of them had it in them to stop it. So Sirius stayed drenched and smelt distinctly like fruity, fermented mixed drinks.

"Well, you give me a gay vibe, Remus. You into blokes?" Marlene stretched her legs, facing Remus.

"Um. What?"

"My gay senses are never wrong, Remus, just admit that you're gay," drawled Marlene, her words slurred.

"Poor guy, Marls, let him be," said Dorcas soberly- really, if that could be said at all- giving Marlene a heavy kiss again. "At least you're gay, 'nd I'm glad for that."

Marlene let out heavy gasp, and let her hands travel down Dorcas's body, slipping into her trousers, as Dorcas's lips travelled all over her face.

"We're taking this upstairs, boys." said Marlene thickly, rushing upstairs with Dorcas behind.

"There goes the two horny idiots."

"Want to turn in?"

James looked towards Frank and Sirius, who nodded drowsily. 

It was a messy, hot process, dragging themselves upstairs. Something felt uneasy in Remus's stomach, but he felt more relaxed than ever as he slunk into his bed. 

"Moony?"

All chill had left the building. Remus could feel something urgent pricking up his skin.

"D'you love meee?" Slurred Sirius drunkenly. He was too close. James was nowhere, it was just them. Sirius had flopped down onto the bed, lying close to Remus. He could feel Sirius's breaths over his neck, and couldn't help the feeling that was rising inside him.

"I love you, Sirius," said Remus thickly, more emotion in his voice than he intended.

"What if I told you I was gay?"

It was like an ice cube had been dropped on Remus's head. He could feel panic, along with millions of other emotions rioting in his chest.

"Are you?" He asked through his tightening throat.

"I am! And I'm in _love_!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am _very_ sorry for this late ass chapter

"Get your hand off my thigh!"

"Only if you budge up!"

"I have no space here!"

"Not like I'm having the time of my life here, Sirius Ori-"

"Quick- kiss me now!"

"What?"

Suddenly, Lily and Sirius were engulfed in a passionate kiss, so deep and moving that anyone would think they must've been in love. It was tense and breathy, and Sirius had no idea where to keep his arms, but looked just so natural to everyone else.

"What the fuck?"

Especially to a too-confused-to-be-jealous Remus Lupin, who'd just arrived from the hospital wing. Messy hair and tired eyes made it obvious that he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep immediately. That was, until he saw the dramatic lip works happening in the common room.

Leaning against the crutches in his arms, he eyed the two with a confused, almost curious look.

"Oh, sorry Moony," started Sirius in a convincingly surprised voice. "Me and Lily here were just getting ready- you know, for our date. B- before- before-"

"Before he _distracted_ me," finished Lily, with a shy chuckle that almost convinced a very red James.

Sirius gave her an impressed look.

She returned it with an impressed look herself.

"So it's real, huh?"

Something was hiding behind Remus's chuckle. Sirius couldn't figure out what. It sounded like pain- maybe his injuries. 

Injuries. That reminded him.

"But we'll have to be heading out now," he said quickly, breaking eye contact and grabbing Lily's arm in an attempt to hide his own, and intertwining their fingers. With a quick smile, he waved. "Goodbye!"

And with that, Sirius and Lily ran out of the room almost immediately, leaving Remus hanging with no time to ask anything.

The only thing Remus could see was the way James looked almost hurt and staring at the door the two had run away from, lips slightly parted. 

"Prongs?"

"Uhm- uh- yeah?"

James flipped around to face Remus. And for a split second, Remus could almost see jealousy in James's eyes.

It really must be real between Sirius and Lily.

And maybe- just maybe- James could see the same jealousy in Remus's eyes.

* * *

A few miles away in a small tea shop were Sirius and Lily, trying to meet each others' eyes after being handed a complimentary "couples' cupcake".

The cupcake sat between two of them, and had two big, red, spinning hearts on top, dancing on bright pink ice cream that was probably sweeter than any normal human would be able to stand. Lily sighed, biting her lip in an attempt to keep her laughter at bay, while Sirius was shaking in suppressed laughter.

"So, Black," started Sirius after about five attempts to speak without laughing. "If- if you could have anyone on this table- other than me- who would it be?"

"Oh, why it'd have to be Minnie of course!"

"Minnie?"

"Minerva, but she lets me call her Minnie. I know she loves it deep down anyway."

"But I mean really," she said. Something about her voice seemed like she _knew_. "Who?"

"What makes you think there's someone?"

Sirius's voice was almost guarded, and he raised an eyebrow in amusement, heart beating heavily against his chest.

"Well." Lily dragged her chair closer to the table and spread her legs and relaxing into the chair. "You know that time you sang 'little liar'? I could tell."

"You're saying I sang well?" He quipped with a chuckle.

"I'm saying you really meant the lyrics."

The features on Sirius's face softened just a little, before tightening up. Lily could almost see him pull invisible walls up around him, but she was determined to find out what was there behind them.

When he didn't reply, and the stone expression stayed, she continued. "We can talk about something else, if you want?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Remus. You really care about him, don't you?"

"Y- yes, we do, we're his friends- so- yeah we care about him. A lot."

"I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about you."

Her red hair fell on the table from her head, which was rested against her folded arm. It was like streaks of vivid, dark orange ran through the deep red.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're really good friends, and it's really sweet."

"I- yeah, we're friends, yeah."

"What's the matter?"

"N- nothing," said Sirius, looking confused, as if this was the most normal conversation ever and he wasn't on the brink of screaming.

Suddenly, Lily's eyes widened. Realisation fell upon her and a small gasp escaped her lips.

Sirius could see it, and he could see that nothing he could do or say would stop it. 

"You- it's him?"

She said the word him as if it was a word she'd never heard before. Granted, she probably hadn't.

"Please don't say it that loudly," whispered Sirius shakily. "And _please_ don't run away."

A kind of fear Lily had never seen before was painted all over Sirius's face. His eyes were spiralling with endless emotion, and he was chewing the inside of his mouth so much that he must've tasted blood. Something about this reminded her of Marlene- maybe it was the fact that these was the only times she'd truly seen fear on either of their faces.

"I- no- no Sirius, I promise, I'm not going anywhere. It's not that- never mind," she trailed off. But there was something on her mind.

"What?"

"Tell him."

"What?! You- are you crazy?!"

"No, I'm smart. I can see it, he loves you too."

"I- he- no he doesn't- and- who said anything about love anyway?!"

"The song did."


End file.
